I wish I had a good camera. :(

One of the reasons I love fall is because my drive home after work takes a turn for the creepy, which is great for a closet goth like me. Lincoln Ave in Montebello ends when you go around this hill and you are surrounded by brush, trees and the nearby nature center. While you drive down this road at sunset, every crow in the area goes to that spot to sleep or whatever. You are basically driving through a black cloud of thousands of crows, swooping in front of your car and covering every tree branch in sight. It's unreal. It's like a Hitchcock movie x1000. I really need to find a decent camera and pull over to photograph this, but I am afraid of getting pooped on. Someone told me birds pooping on you is good luck. I think a bird pooping on you is already a bad thing. People are silly.

Imported Halloween Candy

Me eating a Mexican lollipop: Is lead vegan?
My sister: Yeah! It doesn't have cow in it or anything. It's like an element or something.

She's so a-muse-ing.

Me: At the last Muse show, I was a few feet away from Jared Leto. He's such a douchebag, but he's so hot! It confuses my brain when I look at him.
Heather: You could just have angry sex with him.
---
Heather to random guy as she stumbles on the lawn: Don't laugh at me!! You're eating a hot dog by yourself!

The joys of parenting!

Me: I went to a bbq today. My friends were showing off their new baby. She was telling labor stories. I'm never having a baby.
Val: It's gross. To hell with that nonsense.
Me: I'm adopting for sure. Even if I'm a bad parent, I can always be like "well at least you have a mom and a home. I could have left you in an orphanage all your life"
Val: Haha, wow. At least you look at the bright side of everything. You will definitely be known as a devoted wife and mother.

I'm sure it's a common mistake!

Michelle: i'm going for an interview at the benefit office
Michelle: im SCARED
Michelle: i dont know what to wear
Michelle: something poor
Me: ooooh
Michelle: not make up
Michelle: the benefit office , like the govt office for welfare
Michelle: hahahah
Me: oh
Me: hahaha
Michelle: i like how i knew thats what you thought from one 'oooh'
Michelle: hahaha
Me: benefit = make-up!
Michelle: hahaha
Michelle: totally
Michelle: in the real world

Yeah...

So like, all my extensions came out today. What the hell man?!

I'm almost ashamed.

So last night I had a dream/nightmare that all my extensions fell out and I was too poor to buy new hair for new ones. I actually woke up and felt my head to make sure they were still in there. What the hell is wrong with me?

That psycho Nancy Grace weirdo called my job again a few days ago. I finally insisted on handing her over to someone else because I can't deal with her. Yes, my coworker thinks I'm crazy but he doesn't understand the awfulness of Nancy Grace. He's never even heard of her. He doesn't understand how repulsive it is that she is now pregnant with twins. I hope those bitches eat their way out of her womb.

FYI, I hate Nancy Grace more than anyone, ever.

This conversation took place at my job. I was on the phone with a customer. She was from Texas, thick accent and all. All I did was ask one question.

Me: So you want nautical gifts. Is sailing a hobby of his?
Customer: Oh not anymore, he's 86 now and his hobbies are very restricted. I don't understand why anyone would want to be on a boat. Hobbies like that are just boring for us ladies I guess. Those things are so dangerous too, you could never get me on one of those. People are getting thrown off those things all the time. Do you watch Inside Edition? They had a story about a couple who got thrown overboard from a cruise ship and left behind. People get murdered on boats all the time. You need to watch that show, it's so informative. Nancy Grace is great too. She goes out and fights for victims. She is an Angel. In all her years of practice as a lawyer she never lost a case. She does miraculous work.
Me: ...uh yeah. We don't have what you are looking for.

This a few weeks old, but whatever.

Me: Where are you guys going?
Cousin: My dad want's to take the baby to that circus that's in town.
Me: The one that the guy died at yesterday? The trapeze guy?
Cousin: I told him I don't think it will be open.
Me: Well yeah...
Cousin: But he just said the show must go on.
Me: ...

At the car wash...

I didn't feel like letting a whole Saturday go to waste so I decided to do something that was long overdue. I took my car to be washed. Now, I've had this car about a year and I have never washed it. I mean, I just recently finaly changed the oil for the first time, so you can imagine where washing it was on the list. Anyway, I take it in and pay the guy and they run it through the washer and park it to dry along with the other freshly washed cars. So I'm sitting in the "waiting area" which consists of a patio and a few dozen folding chairs, when I notice the guy get into my car and take it over to be washed a second time. Yes, I am a huge pig, and they had to run my car through twice. Seeing that I had never washed my car before I was completely clueless as to how much I should tip the guy. Michelle and I decided that the automatic washer does most of the work and no matter how many times they run my car through the guy still only has to actually dry it by hand once. After consulting a few friends it was decided that five bucks was a good tip. If you disagree please let me know because I have no experience in these matters. I got a cool punch card thing to earn a free wash. Maybe I'll take it back in a few weeks after it gets a new transmission. Afterwards I went grocery shopping and took a well deserved nap when I went home. Hooray! The end.

Hitting her with a newspaper isn't working either.

Me: The baby is getting potty trained.
Sister: How is that going?
Me: Well, she told Yvonne she had to pee, and when they took her to her little toilet thing she sat there, then got up and sat down one the floor and peed on the rug instead.
Sister: Did you rub her nose in it? That's the only way they'll learn.

I know what boys like. I know what guys want...

...and it sure as hell isn't that fugly girl who sings that song. Talk about delusional.

I don't like it from behind.

I got rear ended this morning. There I was waiting at a light without a care in the world when all of a sudden I am jolted really hard. My glasses flew off my face and onto the floor of the passenger side of my car, and my car was sent into the car in front of me. The lady gets out and looks at me accusingly so I immediately say "She hit me and sent me crashing into your car." We pull into a nearby parking lot and exchange info. She was giggly and thought the whole thing was funny. I wanted to punch her in the face. The sudden jolt resulted in no major damage to my car, but I later found a fatally scratched mixed MCD cd on the floor of my car.

So we are exchanging information, and I am really annoyed at the whole thing. I hate being late to work, especially when I manage to get up on time. The lady is laughing at how shaky she is, and is exclaiming at how she has never been in an accident. "I was looking down so I didn't see your car until it was too late, haha". I was at a stop light. I had been stopped for a good amount of time. It was a major intersection, so those lights take a bit longer to change. Is it that hard to pay attention when you're driving? AND WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?! DO YOU SEE ME LAUGHING?! I filed a claim with her insurance. My car may not be fancy but I want to get it fixed up soon and I don't need additional scratches. As minor as the damage is, I want them fixed. Hours later my back is starting to ache a lot, which is normal I guess. I already have back problems so boooo! I knew something bad would happen this week when a ladybug flew on my arm, and instead of flying away it pooped on me.

Botox

So I noticed today that I furrow my brow when I drive. I hate driving and it makes me sad, creating a weird bump on my forhead. Do I preserve my face or show emotion? I mean, I can always carry photos of emoticons in my purse right?

Because Daria was kind of a bummer.

Quinn: "Please? You're the only person I can trust to do this! I can tell by your eyes..."
Ronny: "Really?"
Quinn: "Yeah! They're so... sincere!"
Ronny: "Well..."
Quinn: "And your face, it's very... honest! You're so nice, and dependable, and-"
Ronny: "Nice? Sincere? You're never gonna go out with me, are you?"
Quinn: "No."

Daria: It appears the unthinkable has happened.
Quinn: Tube tops are coming back?

Quinn: Look, can you please stop talking to me? If the Fashion Club sees this I'll be like one of those baby birds that gets put back in the nest but the mother knows it's been touched by a human and pecks it to death. Understand?

Helen: I don't think you realize that modeling is an extremely competitive activity...
Quinn: So is dating, if you do it right.
Helen: ...in which your value as a human being is decided entirely on how you look.
Quinn: When does the bad part come in?

Helen: I can't have another fiasco like last Saturday night. Think of how it must have felt when those three boys all showed up here at the same time!
Quinn: It felt great!
Helen:I meant for them.

Quinn: Yeah, I just found out poems don't even have to rhyme. How easy is that?

Sandy: Can't... I... rest?
Quinn: Did Cleopatra rest when she was inventing mascara? Did Neferiti rest when she was posing for statues? Did Helen of Troy rest when she was doing whatever it was she did? Beauty never rests! NOW, SWIM, YOU COW, SWIM!!!

Quinn - You can't expect me to choose a boyfriend right away. That would be like eating the first pancake off the stove. You have to feed one to the dog.

[Counselor holds up a picture of two people talking]
Quinn: Let's see... they've been going out for awhile, and he's upset because other people keep asking her out, and she saying she can't help it if she's attractive and popular, and besides, nobody ever said they were going steady, and if he does want to go steady he's got to do a lot better than movie, burger, back seat, movie, burger, back seat, because there are plenty of guys with bigger back seats waiting to take her someplace nice!

Quinn:
The greasy fry
It cannot lie
Its truth is written
On your thigh.

Lunchtime Topics

Coworker: Your face looks skinnier.
Me: Thanks! I stopped eating.

Dinnertime Topics

my sister: Your neck looks skinnier.
me: Thanks! I haven't eaten all week.

Seperation Anxiety

I lost a hair extension earlier this week. I can't seem to part ways with it. It's been sitting on my desk for days. I occasionally pick it up, brush it and talk to it. I can't understand it. It's not like I grew it. It was probably stolen off some poor womans head in a third world country. Wherever that poor woman is, I hope she knows I appreciate her hair. I also want to know her secret to growing purple hair.

And so here it is...

After debating for almost three years I finally created the dreaded blog. This will be used as an extension of my website, which I am finally working on after registering my domain name a year ago. Hopefully I can get it looking the way I like soon. I am still figuring out how this blog stuff works so be kind. I will try my hardest to be entertaining. The layout will change according to my mood. Right now my mood appears to be nuclear winter. As for my website, I am designing it and hope to have it up really soon. I am putting together a gallery of some AFI photos I took while I was in the UK. I saw them in Germany but I didn't take photos of those shows. I also have a few really awful photos of the Explosion. The photo pass I got was given to me for fun, so my camera was aparently not up to the task of recording that special moment of my life. Anyway, they are good enough to share so I hope you will enjoy them at some level.