FYI, I hate Nancy Grace more than anyone, ever.

This conversation took place at my job. I was on the phone with a customer. She was from Texas, thick accent and all. All I did was ask one question.

Me: So you want nautical gifts. Is sailing a hobby of his?
Customer: Oh not anymore, he's 86 now and his hobbies are very restricted. I don't understand why anyone would want to be on a boat. Hobbies like that are just boring for us ladies I guess. Those things are so dangerous too, you could never get me on one of those. People are getting thrown off those things all the time. Do you watch Inside Edition? They had a story about a couple who got thrown overboard from a cruise ship and left behind. People get murdered on boats all the time. You need to watch that show, it's so informative. Nancy Grace is great too. She goes out and fights for victims. She is an Angel. In all her years of practice as a lawyer she never lost a case. She does miraculous work.
Me: ...uh yeah. We don't have what you are looking for.

This a few weeks old, but whatever.

Me: Where are you guys going?
Cousin: My dad want's to take the baby to that circus that's in town.
Me: The one that the guy died at yesterday? The trapeze guy?
Cousin: I told him I don't think it will be open.
Me: Well yeah...
Cousin: But he just said the show must go on.
Me: ...

At the car wash...

I didn't feel like letting a whole Saturday go to waste so I decided to do something that was long overdue. I took my car to be washed. Now, I've had this car about a year and I have never washed it. I mean, I just recently finaly changed the oil for the first time, so you can imagine where washing it was on the list. Anyway, I take it in and pay the guy and they run it through the washer and park it to dry along with the other freshly washed cars. So I'm sitting in the "waiting area" which consists of a patio and a few dozen folding chairs, when I notice the guy get into my car and take it over to be washed a second time. Yes, I am a huge pig, and they had to run my car through twice. Seeing that I had never washed my car before I was completely clueless as to how much I should tip the guy. Michelle and I decided that the automatic washer does most of the work and no matter how many times they run my car through the guy still only has to actually dry it by hand once. After consulting a few friends it was decided that five bucks was a good tip. If you disagree please let me know because I have no experience in these matters. I got a cool punch card thing to earn a free wash. Maybe I'll take it back in a few weeks after it gets a new transmission. Afterwards I went grocery shopping and took a well deserved nap when I went home. Hooray! The end.